Tough times doesn't last, but tough people do. Aite?

Waktu awal saya nulis post ini saya baru aja menghabiskan waktu seharian di kampus; rapat perdana managerial RTC UI FM 2012—iya akhirnya saya memutuskan untuk tinggal satu tahun lagi di 'rumah' yang ini—ceritanya panjang tapi orang-orang dekat pasti sudah tau alasannya :) Lalu mampir ke audisi model UIFW sampai akhirnya makan ramen sama sahabat-sahabat terdekat di Psikologi, Ayas, Ekki dan Uta. Pembicaraannya selain melepas kangen setelah rasanya lama banget nggak punya waktu-waktu berkualitas seperti itu ya nggak jauh dari kata jodoh--yang di usia awal 20-an sering banget jadi topik utama. Mereka-mereka ini selain selalu kasih energi untuk beberapa hari ke depan, emosi positif yang rasanya nggak ketukar, juga bikin saya berpikir soal jodoh ini. 

Akhir-akhir ini saya agak merasa kurang yakin. Saya selalu bisa dengan jelas menggambarkan the perfect guy for me—tapi selalu gagal untuk sekedar membayangkan kalau saya bisa jadi the perfect one untuk siapapun. Antara kurang iman atau ada masalah di self esteem pada kondisi psikologis saya sepertinya. Saya selama ini selalu yakin kalau kamu itu masih di jalan. Nggak tau dimana, nggak tau juga siapa, tapi pasti akan sampai kalau emang udah waktunya. Waktu saya menulis ini saya habis dengar cerita salah satu sahabat saya yang berulang kali tersenyum-sambil-usap kepala karena dia nemuin kamu—versinya—in everyday work. Sesederhana dan sekompleks itu karena bukan berarti semuanya jadi mudah buat dia. Saya sendiri tersenyum karena awalnya saya nggak suka sama pilihannya, dan saya sadar, kalau saya sayang aja sama dia dan jadi begitu mendukung pilihannya karena saya senang ngelihat dia sesayang itu sama seseorang. Ngelihat dia seyakin itu kalau orang itu tepat buat itu salah satu hal sederhana yang bisa bikin saya bahagia, selain melihat dia juga berkembang jadi orang yang sangat baik sejak pertama kali saya kenal dia sekitar dua setengah tahun lalu.



Tapi kalau kata Ted di HIMYM, "When your friends have great news you're happy for them for like a millisecond and then you start thinking about yourself." Maybe, just maybe—about how messy your life is. Nah, mungkin ini yang saya rasakan. Saya juga nggak terlalu ngerti sih, cuma saya nulis aja. Kemudian yang saya tau saya berhenti menulis postingan ini, sampai hari ini. Hari pertama kuliah yang lumayan berat untuk dilewati karena hal klasik lah, ada masalah di rumah. Saya suka merasa kuat ngadepin apapun tapi kalau masalahnya dari dalam rasanya saya sendirian aja. Yang bikin sedih sih biasanya—tepat seperti hari ini—fisik saya yang nyerah. Sakit perut dari masih di kelas dan air mata yang saya tahan seharian akhirnya bocor juga pas saya udah di kamar, sendirian. Obatnya kalau nggak berdoa ya nyampah disini. Maaf ya, pasti nggak niat dengerin tapi jadi saya curhatin. 


Kalau saya lagi merasa se-sendirian-ini, saya suka inget percakapan Ted & Robin yang ini.

Saya nggak pernah lupa sama percakapan Ted & Robin di episode 1 season 7 ini. Udah lama banget nontonnya, tapi baru-baru ini kerasa senasibnya sama Ted. Yang kayak gini biasanya cuma jadi bahan bercandaan di chat sama Ayas, tapi suka kerasa beneran kalau lagi hidup lagi kumat ruwetnya seperti hari ini. Tiba-tiba rasanya saya pengen aja punya satu orang yang bisa saya tanya "Sebenernya yang saya lakuin ini benar atau nggak?" dan dia nggak perlu jawab benar atau salah tapi  ngeyakinin saya kalau pun salah saya juga akan baik-baik aja akhirnya. Kadang saya capek aja ngeyakinin diri sendiri kalau saya akan baik-baik aja. Biasalah manusia, apalagi yang kayak saya—kadar imannya fluktuatif. Seberantakan apapun rasanya hari ini, saya tau akhirnya saya harus percaya lagi—kalau semuanya akan baik-baik aja. Sama kayak Ted yang harus percaya lagi kalau one day dia akan nemuin orangnya. Kalau buat saya, orang yang bisa saya refer ketika saya bilang kamu.

"You're Ted Mosby! You start believing again."

"To what? Destiny?"

"Chemistry. If you have it, all you need is timing.......but timing's a  bitch"

It'll be fine before soon, aite?
Clarissa Rizky

“Ask yourself if what you’re doing today is getting you closer to where you want to be tomorrow.”

- Unknown


The Holstee Manifesto Lifecycle Video from Holstee on Vimeo.

I surfed the net to this adorable photographer blog's, Andra Alodita and found this inspiring video. People should really do things that they love & start to love (even more) the things that they do in the mean time. February already come and it means my holiday meet its end. With its up & down, January taught me many lessons about life. About making choices, to dream and to actually do some actions to pursue it. As i said many times before, i made several decision last month. All of them are hard decision with emotional feeling involved. I should thank God for giving me so many signs that these are the right thing to do. At the end of the month, i feel good about 2012. Hopefully i cannot only literally #AchieveMore but contribute more.

So here's my January, proving myself that i do what i love & (at least) trying to love what i do.

Closing the year with (best)friends from highschool probably a really good thing to do. For me new year will always be a moment to start fresh, yet i still can look back and cherish it with the people who stays. Unlike previous years, we had a nice-warm-full of laughter-bbq night with the good friends at Bebe's house, BSD. I think it's a sign that we're getting old, and what matter the most is to be happy,  simply. Me myself also spent a few times with them this holiday; a late lunch-a coffee break-a movie-or a short  afternoon at our school always bring me happiness. It simply remind me that life really is that simple back then. I shouldn't complicate things by now.

A short getaway to Bandung with the three most important people in my life. Family! A night at Stevie G & a full day at Trans Studio are enough to release my stress away. Less really is more. Maybe if i used to travel around the world, then i won't be this grateful for this short vacation. 

Am also start this year with a very big family lunch at Hanamasa from mom's side. I had a lot of fun & realize that people might change but blood will always be thicker than water. My mom have 7 brothers and sisters. It's like Parenthood series in real life. They fight sometimes and love each other most of the time. I'm grateful to have each and everyone of them.

A public lecture from Prof. Samuel - University of Texas, telling us about his research "Snoop dreams : Expressing personality in everyday context." Funny how psychologist can trace your personality by your workplace, bedroom, facebook status or even your blog. I wonder maybe if my lecture find this blog, they can really 'read' me into the deep side that i don't even realize. 

I spent a lot (more) quality time from people in Psychology. Within two and a half year, they have transformed in to another family to me. Hopefully i can maintain this upcoming year (and i wish to be the last academic year) to be closer with them. Even i didn't take any non-academic activities in the faculty, i'm sure our academic life will bring out our togetherness even more. Talking about academic life, i'm blessed with last term's result. Never been that busy yet never been that happy at the end. I reached the highest GPA in my 2,5 years being an UI student. I guess 6th term won't be easier yet i'm optimist to reach even higher or at least stay in the cum laude range. Another target has been made by myself—not in GPA—other thing, some like a dream. 

So this might be the other thing about holiday. Learning. Yes, holiday can't stop you to learn aite? You don't have to be in a formal class to expand your knowledge. Here's what i did this January; attending a #YOTSeminar with 5 speakers; Ligwina Hananto, Melani Soebono, Calvin Kizana, Hendy Setiono & our very own Billy Boen. 

I learned from each speakers, a lot. but what i remember the most is each and everyone of them talking about the importance of networking. "Network is your asset." said Hendy Setiono (Owner of Kebab Turki Baba Raffi & Mas Mono.) Mas Billy himself said that opportunity didn't come as a coincidence. He created the opportunity by being friends with the successful people even 10 years before they reach the position. Me and other CAs laugh & make some jokes about us 10 years from now--about being successful and we're doing the right thing by being friends from now. I know it was a joke, yet all of us realize that expanding our network by joining this organization will actually give a positive impact for (maybe our career) or at least our life. Calvin Kizana--the IT expert--told us that "You shouldn't play with people from your background only. IT people shouldn't play with IT people only unless they want to be geek all the time. I want to be geek & rich so i expand my network and met Billy. We have several project till now." I smiled and thought maybe this will happen to me 5 years from now. The universe proved me wrong by sending me a few offers (that i can't mention here)  which came from friends from different background. All i can say is Alhamdulillah. 

Beside that, i also learned a lot from Parlemen Muda National Conference "Meet the Leaders." I'll share the details about this in other post since it will be too long. Anyway, i start my English class at The British Institute in order to take IELTS afterwards. I take a general English class since my grammar is so messed up. So it'll be a busy Depok-Fatmawati days on Monday and Wednesday. Thank Allah that i already finished most of my credits so there's only 30 credits left and i only can take 18 this semester—which means classes will end on 12.40 pm!

Hopefully i can manage time wisely so i can always have time for leisure. Yes this holiday also means many (fiction) books, tv series and the most important afternoon nap! I think i'll write about Blair & Chuck after this. Gossip girl also is an important part of my week tee-hee. So enjoy the rest of your holiday peeps. I have to email stuffs for #LOVEDONATION2012 now--an event held by Young on top this February 11th-12th. Come and share your love at Grand Indonesia level 5 if you have time. 


Make sure you live a balance life dear, 
Cheers!
Clarissa Rizky

A late Happy new year #2

Udah mau bulan Februari tapi saya masih nulis tentang tahun baru. Basi tapi saya pengen aja berbagi, apa yang saya pelajari akhir-akhir ini. Sejak masuk organisasi ini saya punya satu buku khusus yang saya gunakan untuk mencatat apa yang saya pelajari dari meeting/seminar apapun. Ketika saya liat bukunya udah mau abis, saya sadar saya udah banyak belajar, tapi belum banyak berbagi. Mudah-mudahan nulis disini bisa jadi langkah awal, siapa tau nanti bisa dibagi dalam bentuk hardcopy *tetep usaha biar bisa punya buku*.

Intinya sih yang mau dibagi, semua orang pasti mau sukses—tapi nggak semua mau usaha, persisten & berhasil sampai akhir. 

Monthly Meeting Young on top itu buat saya kayak charger energi pribadi. Ketemu sama anak-anak seumuran saya yang nyambung ketika bicara soal apa yang mau dicapai 'setelah ini' itu--selain meyakinkan diri kalau saya nggak aneh karena sekali sebulan mau dan senang-senang aja ngabisin satu harian untuk belajar, sharing, bedah buku & rapat progress program divisi masing-masing--juga bikin saya terus semangat buat berkembang. Topik yang kemarin adalah Reload, karena tahun baru jadi intinya adalah persiapan apa yang mau dilakukan untuk 2012. Hampir semua orang punya resolusi, tapi sedikit yang berhasil 'Walk the talk'. 

Saya tersenyum lebar waktu dengar cerita Kak Citra Natasya (yang lulus 3,5 tahun dengan predikat cumlaude di jurusan Hubungan Internasional UPH, selama kuliah juga kerja jadi Marcommnya Kapanlagi.com, sibuk jadi Program Director (baca : ketua) Indonesian Youth Conference,  pengajar tari tradisional CIOFF di berbagai kampus & SMA, Lulusan terbaik YOT CA Batch 1 dan menjadi mentor di batch 2, The most favorite fun fearless female cosmopolitan, semuanya dalam kurun 1 tahun, di 2011. Perlu diingat kalau kakak kelas saya dari SMA yang ngenalin saya sama dunia YOT ini juga nggak pernah lupa untuk bina hubungan sosial (baca: senang-senang) dengan teman-teman & pacarnya.) tentang gimana ia berhasil mengatur hidupnya yang sebegitu seimbang. 

Atau ketika Annisa Purbandari, salah satu Young on top Campus Ambassador angkatan saya yang lulus di jurusan Sastra Perancis UI juga dalam waktu 3,5 tahun. Kedengarannya biasa aja ya? Pernah dengar @IDStudentJob? Nah itu dia yang bikin! Misinya sederhana, mau berbagi karena banyak teman-teman mahasiswa yang pengen magang/kerja tapi nggak tau lowongan yang ada. Dengan menggunakan social media sesederhana twitter, Icha dan timnya sekarang lagi mengembangkan ini jadi usaha yang selain berguna buat banyak orang juga benar-benar profitable. Sebentar lagi webnya akan launch & siap buat jadi referensi semua orang buat nyari tempat magang atau kerja beneran.

Menurut saya orang kayak mereka adalah orang yang bisa disebut orang-orang yang "Walk the talk". Nggak cuma ngomong cara-cara buat jadi sukses, tapi berhasil ngebuktiin kalau mereka nggak cuma meraih prestasi tapi kasih kontribusi buat sekitarnya. Nah ini yang dari kemarin saya bilang, tahun ini saya ingin nggak cuma bisa terinspirasi dari suksesnya orang lain, tapi juga bisa konsisten untuk meraih pencapaian saya sendiri, sampai akhirnya bisa menginspirasi seperti itu. Saya mah nggak ngimpi jadi Program Director salah satu event pemuda terbesar se Indonesia, menang kontes fun fearless female atau mulai bikin perusahaan yang berguna buat banyak orang dalam waktu dekat. Saya pengen bisa kasih kontribusi pada orang lain dengan cara saya sendiri. Pertanyaan besarnya adalah, Gimana caranya? Ini yang mau saya bagi, apa yang saya belajar dari mereka. 

Pertama, lihat dulu apa yang udah kamu capai setahun kemarin. Kalau kata saya mah jangan lupa tersenyum & bilang alhamdulillah setelah  menulis/mengingat apa yang udah kamu capai (ataupun kamu gagal). Terus tanya lagi sama diri sendiri, udah puas? Belum puas sama tidak bersyukur itu beda lho. Bersyukur itu pekerjaan harian yang harusnya berjalan udah otomatis—walaupun suka susah—tapi nikmat yang dikasih sama Allah itu emang nggak ada abisnya, kan? Belum puas maksudnya adalah apa mau begini-begini aja atau mau berkembang lebih lagi? Kalau mau, yuk lah cari tau apa yang mau dicapai. Know what you want to achieve, and achieve even more! 

Kalau yang diajarin Mas Billy, you have to know what your vision is, then set up your goal. Semacam visi-misi kalau dalam suatu organisasi. Vision itu sesuatu yang kita percaya, tujuan umum yang nggak terbatas sama yang namanya waktu. Goal itu spesifik, apa yang mau kita capai dalam jangka waktu tertentu, yang pasti ini sejalan sama vision yang kita punya. Nggak cuma BEM atau organisasi lain yang butuh visi-misi, kita pribadi juga perlu. Kenapa? Sederhananya biar kalau ditanya hidup buat apa, tau mau jawab apa. Soal jawabannya apa sih urusan masing-masing. Tapi kalau hidup nggak ada tujuannya itu buat saya bentuk kurang bersyukur sama Allah, sedih aja liatnya. Walaupun saya bukan tipe orang yang ngurusin tujuan hidup orang lain—kalau beda ya nggak apa-apa, makin kesini saya juga makin belajar kalau yang penting buat kita, belum tentu penting buat orang lain—tapi punya tujuan hidup itu esensial lho ternyata buat setiap orang. Saya ingat seminar Logoterapi ngajarin saya kalau manusia itu butuh untuk mencari makna hidupnya sendiri—dan itu nggak bisa diwakilin atau dicariin orang lain. Harus diusahain sendiri. 

Jadi saya pulang dari MM mulai kepikiran tujuan hidup saya tuh sebenarnya apa ya. Vision saya dalam hidup itu apa, lalu goal untuk tahun ini itu apa. Alhamdulillah sekarang udah nemu, udah diingat tapi belum sempet nulis (dan nggak akan saya tulis disini dulu, malu.) Saya tau ini tuh abstrak,  Semacam tipe-tipe yang mudah diucapin tapi sulit dilakuin. Makanya tahun ini saya pengen jadi orang yang bisa walk the talk. Walaupun saya berulang kali bilang saya takut. Takut salah, takut gagal, takut nyesal, dan sebagainya, setidaknya saya tau apa yang saya mau saya tuju. Saya tau saya ada dimana, dan saya lagi cari tau gimana caranya sampai disana. 

Ketakutan saya yang besar kadang bikin saya lupa kalau emosi itu ada enam, salah satunya takut.  Sebenarnya takut itu bukti kalau saya manusia normal, kan? I remember that being afraid means you're a normal human being. The only thing that matter is to make sure that fear can't stop you to keep moving forward.

Pembahasannya berlanjut, kalau sedang 'move forward' ketemu sama yang namanya bosan, susah, capek atau nggak bisa-bisa terus gimana? Look back. Kata Mas Billy ketika kita ketemu sama yang namanya hambatan--secara hidup nggak mungkin lancar-lancar aja--ingat lagi sama apa yang kita mau tuju. Saya ingat cerita Rene Suhardono dia bilang "Know the Why, and the how will follow". Then what? Keep going. Kata salah satu mentor YOT "Berhenti jangan karena capek, tapi karena sudah sampai tujuan." 

Ini zona nyaman baru saya, yang selain kasih pembelajaran banyak juga ngingetin saya kalau bahagia itu sesederhana bersyukur.

At the end of the day, i realized that everyone have their own right to choose their way of life. Positive or negative, it's your life. So it's your choice. Don't bother. 

Just keep going,

Clarissa Rizky

A late happy new year #1

So i'm 24 days late of telling you my new year's eve, until i watched the movie New year's eve two days agao and realized, the NYE will always be more than yelling "Happy new year!". I usually write about the midnight & how i felt right after it, yet my posts lately only contain the ups and downs about choices & living the consequences since it's sadly consuming me. I even wrote my article about it and since then, i'm trying to sincerely walk the talk. It's a nice & happy feeling after you finally let go and moving forward. Anyway, i just watched the movie with Gian and feeling like i want to write my heart out even since i'm at the studio. Call me lame and cheesy, but i'll always be the girl who loves romantic comedy movies. Anyway, here's the famous speech from the movie.

“It’s suspended there to remind us before we pop the champagne and celebrate the New Year, to stop and reflect on the year that has gone by. To remember both our triumphs and our missteps - our promises made, and broken. The times we opened ourselves up to great adventures - or closed ourselves down, for fear of getting hurt. Because that’s what New Year’s is all about: getting another chance. A chance to forgive, to do better, to do more, to give more, to love more. And stop worrying about ‘what if’ and start embracing what would be. So when that ball drops at midnight - and it will drop - let’s remember to be nice to each other, kind to each other. And not just tonight but all year long.”

2012 will be the time for all of us to have another chance. For me, it'll be the chance to walk the talk. To open myself for even greater adventures - and try my ass off to be not afraid of getting hurt - to might be fail.

Anyway, here's a few reasons why i like this movie, no matter what people said on their review. 

 Zac Efron shocked me with his appearance. Yes, he looked good on my eyes. His character's sincerity to help the depressed lady is adorable to watch. I enjoy their scenes a lot.

 Robert De Niro & Halle Berry in one scene. What would you expect? I cried obviously. Really can't stand the fact that dying old man lying down alone, before finally his daughter come along. Once again, i'm afraid to face that kind of scene in my own life. Dear God, please keep ayah away from any illness.

Never thought that Ashton Kutcher & Leah *Rachel Berry* Michelle looks good together. I like to see how they opened up themselves to each other. The transformation from hatred to lovers is fast enough till i don't feel bored at all. My favorite moment is this one, when he made it to Times Squares only to bring her the 'perfect balance' bracelet. People do funny stuffs when they're in love. I do love to watch it.

“It’s okay to listen to your heart. It’s risky, but take that leap of faith.”

—	new years eve

Another favorite scene of this movie is how they fought for a kiss at midnight. It's funny to see how the 15 years old girl who dream about her first kiss, the mother who finally released the feeling to the seem-to-be perfect guy who waited a year for her, the depressed lady who precisely is 'forever alone' in the middle of time square and finally kissed by the-oh-so-nice-Zac Efron, the broken heart lady with the ex-boyfriend & well yeah, the new year hater Ashton Kutcher with the super talented singer from Glee. They're in love, and remind me that my new year used to be like theirs, back then. I can't help but smile to remind that moments. Never had a the kiss at midnight, yet a visit afterwards used to be a blissful moment for me. 

Then again, this movie taught me that there's a lot of other form of love that you the universe offer you in the magical night. From the young born baby with all the love from the parents, the lost of a father, or maybe the long distance call from a husband. So while i'm waiting for (maybe love or just) a new experience at the next new year's eve, i know i'll be just fine. This is my final and most favorite moment of all. 

Josh Duhamel never ever fail me. He has the perfect face, figure & charm. In a uniform or not, he's still seems the perfect man. I love this scene when he threw his speech, "My father said what will you do when you have a guarantee that you won't fail? Then do it!" It's inspired me, a lot. Many people afraid to f1ace failure, including me. I'm asking my self, what will i do when God guarantee that i won't fail, and wondering why am i not doing that? Maybe sometimes you have to take the leap, to follow your heart.  So here's the famous closing statement of the movie. It moves my heart.

Sometimes it feels like there are so many things in this world we can’t control; earthquakes, floods, reality shows. But it’s important to remember the things that we can, like forgiveness, second chances, fresh starts, because the one thing that turns the world from a lonely place to a beautiful place is love. Love in any of it’s forms. Love gives us hope. Hope for the New Year. That’s New Years Eve to me. Hope and a great party.”

—	Sam Ricker- New Year’s Eve

So just don't lose hope dear. It'll keep you strong.

Clarissa Rizky