You can do anything, just not everything

This October marked the two years of me working at the stock exchange. By means I already worked for two years and 8 months from the first time I landed my first job. I have to say that it’s been quite a journey. It really is.

I’ve changed dramatically. In a way that I’ve always dreamed to be a clinical psychologist, and now I truly aspire to be HR leader in the future. Which is for the better, I believe.

If I told my younger self that I will be in this position after two years, I’m sure she will not believe me. I was so sure about the path that I’m going to take after graduation. Being the first who graduated in the whole batch made me feel more lost than anyone can imagine. I still can remember the time I texted my senior (who is now already a psychologist, my fave one! Cheers to Kak Saskhy) who immediately called me and just for being herself through the phone. What I meant by being her was being the older sister who give advices, that it’s okay to feel lost and it’s okay to try new things, which led me to the experience that I’ve never regret, 8 months in Citi.

She was also the one who opened a door to Citi, by the way. (I know, I can’t thank her enough.) From that time, the journey in the corporate world started. Somehow it feels like a flash. When a friend asked me, how can you let it go? The dream to be a psychologist; the ideal version of woman who works part time for a counseling/therapy/seminar session that you dreamed before?

Most of the times, I said, life happens.

I took care a few things at home now, and pursuing a master degree to be a psychologist is surely not an option for now. I should be the big girl who's responsible for several things, which I already accepted after this few years journey. I can’t answer this to everyone if the asked this question right? So I prefer to say, life happens. Reality hits.

Even though I am proud of my choice and so happy how it turned out now. The question is, how can I really let go?

Scientifically speaking, Gen Y, the generation who born between 1980-2000ish think that having a noble and clear purpose in life is important. They crave to make a difference, because they grew up in an era which full of freedom and flexibility to create innovation. They’re well educated and they would like to think that there’s more to work than just a paycheck. While on the contrary, you need a big fat paycheck to take care things. Trust me, you do. I know, Ideally, you don’t have to finance more than your lifestyle, of course, but not everyone got that luxury, right? And that’s just okay.

So, how to deal with being a Gen Y & also the need to have a decent paycheck? You have to accept. Seriously you need to accept that there’s more to life than thinking that the world is against you. I sometimes play the victim, of course. There’s a always time when I feel like why things have to be this hard on me? But in the end, I know it won’t change a thing. I need to work my ass off and deal with the problems. But yes, I mumble too. That’s part of being human.

But I compensate.

I try to find meaning in my everyday job. The theory said that Gen Y likes to start with the “Why” instead of the “What”, because by starting with the why, the can get the sense of purpose and things will be make more senses. It’s so true because when I was trusted to handle a project, things feel more doable when I have the sense of purpose. When I understand WHY I have to do such things. Of course there are times when you have to follow your boss’ instruction, but it’s up to you to find meaning in your daily job. I find that as much as completing the recap and analyzing corporate L & D data is tiring, it is also essential to have a clear picture how your company spread their training budget and also develop the evaluation of your L & D program effectiveness. That is an example how I changed the administrative part of my job to something meaningful.

Moreover, I was also blessed to have such a great team. No, it’s a not a stress/friction-free team, sometimes we disagree and argue, but most of time, it’s a pretty solid team who are not only professionally supportive, they also became closes people who plays like a family to me. The theory said that Gen Y seeks evaluation, appreciation, coaching and advancement in their career. I feel that my direct supervisor provide it all.

Each year, I am forced to create innovations. I take this opportunity to make what I love the most of my job, facilitate people to learn & grow. I just made a new program called Peer Sharing Session Week. For others, it’s just a session to learn from other expert in the company. For me, it’s delivering ideas to an actual event. All in all, I am responsible to develop the knowledge sharing culture in the company, and it feels good to see people eager to learn despite of their huge workloads. I met many inspiring people along the year, Bu Risma – The Mayor of Surabaya, Pak Ignasius Jonan – the Minister of Transportation, Pak Dwi Soetjipto, Bu Tri Mumpuni – the Social Activist and Founder of Ashoka, Ken Lawadinata from Kaskus & Ratih Ibrahim the famous psychologist who share their experiences in my corporate sharing session project.

As much as it is allow me to facilitate people to learn, I am the one who learn the most in the past two years. I was assigned to Singapore to learn from HR savvies around the region, they paid the ticket for my favorite event in the country, IDEAFEST 2015 and this year, I am already a Certified HR Professional after months of struggling between workloads, night plus weekend classes, exam and papers. All thanks to IDX!

This job also allows me to help others. I flew to Malang to help Mount Batur eruption’s victim and also visited an orphan house last month to donate stuffs and play with the kids.

As bad as it might sounds, I also can afford the things I can’t afford before. Besides paying mandatory bills, I also understand how satisfying it is to be able to get more (expensive) books, overprice coffee and travel with by my own hard work. It’s sweet, to visit new places each year. It’s even sweeter when you celebrate 24 by getting your very own car.

So no, it’s not a perfect job. No, it's not a strategic position in the company. It has flaws and the days when you’d rather be in bed than dealing with annoying people and tasks that you hate. But it’s a decent one and the one that Allah believe best for me, right now.

I have an encounter of some of my juniors in Faculty of Psychology earlier this month. I can see my two years younger me in them. The insecurities of finding the most suitable job in this economy & whether they have to follow their passion or not. I hope that this writing can open their eyes that there’s more to life than continue your study in the same homey faculty that you guys (and I dreamed) before. You can survive (and happy) everywhere, as long as you don’t give yourself up.

And that's that, I guess. After two years, I understand that you don't have to fall in love with your job to happy. You need to be grateful and happy with what you have.

Be passionately curious about the future & commit with your present as well.

Enjoy the ride!