About being 'under-the-weather'

Well, hello again!

It's literally 5 days to the midterm test yet i'm way far from the word 'prepared'. I was busy doing this and that, keeping this and that, going here and there, and now i'm worrying about my academic life. I know, every single thing that i do is on the track that i already set before. I try to keep balancing my life in every aspect, family, friends, the so called organization and here come the most important part...............academic stuffs.

I started to question my self, am i really capable doing all these stuffs simultaneously? The psychology term 'Self efficacy' is going lower and even lower when i start to study for the midterm test and found my self fall asleep after 20 minutes. I know, my body is lacking. Gotta go around Cinere-Depok-Cinere by myself, every single day is somekind of tiring. Beside that, the tasks, papers and everything were never stop coming and pushing me to the stress phase.

I sometimes laugh too much at campus while having my break with lots of friends. I think it's one of Freud's defense mechanism called the repression. I push the anxiety feelings in to the unconscious to live my life happier. Well, at some point it works. I enjoy most of my busy days, doing task after task, one meeting to another meeting, or even going here and there with highschool fellows. Most of all, i enjoy the days of March without any worries about the midterm.

Now i'm asking my self... am i ready? Not about the midterm. About what comes after midterm. The consequences that i have to take if the score is not like what i expected. About being responsible for everything that i took before. Well, about keeping my priority to become a cumlauder, later on 2013.

I took a deep sigh after writing this. I know i can't answer my own questions. Actually there's no point about asking that, decisions were already made. I have to stick with my choices before and try to focus in everything. Please wish me luck and everything for the two upcoming weeks. I always believe that something good happen in March. You know, like that day.

Random picture, as random as that day.

Well, the only person who understand (and should be thank for) is Ratih. It's a nice day after all.

Cheers,

Clarissa Rizky