Most people are stronger than they know. They just forget to believe in it sometimes.
- Keith, One tree hill
So how's your holiday?
Since this is my third holiday in college, i already imagine how it feels to have nothing to do in a month. I don't have a plan for holiday with family nor friends, only a short getaway with the big family to Lembang last December and a fine new year eve dinner with bestfriends. After that i only have stuffs like campus radio tasks and so on. Anyway, i'm sitting here in front of the screen with a flat emotion. I don't really know what i'm gonna share, but as usual it's more for my own sake.
My days were unpleasant lately. Mostly because of my period, the stomachache is killing me, and suddenly things feels like fell in the wrong place. I'm screwed with the academic thingy. My IRS problems haven't done till now, and i still got only 16 credits for the rest of the term because of the freakin internet connection. On the registration day, as the usual i sat here refreshing the page, hoping, praying that everything will flow smoothly. I need at least 20 credits for 4th term, and unfortunately it depends with the internet connection. Short story, it sucked. I can't access the website right at the time.
My body was limping. For a faculty like mine, the students have to rush and fight with each other to get a class. Yes, a freaking class. The requirement classes for everyone only have 14 credits, and as i told you i need at least 20 credits. So i need to choose alternative classes. The alternative classes are limited and if you're late, you'll never get the place. Thank God, there's always something to be grateful at the end of the day. I was helped by Ayas & Kenny for my IRS. They rushed to fill it for me. Honestly, i can't imagine how's my 4th term gonna be if i don't have them.
That day was a mess. Been alone for the day, and ended up on a fight with my dad. My future plan is threatened to fall apart, yet there's no tears from my eyes. Something new from my self. Back then, i used to cry in every single problem that i have. At the present, i feel like maybe that's the way it is. Maybe that was God's plan which working. I'm at the point of life that you really sure that everything, every-single-thing is happen for a reason. It's the point that you just know, maybe letting go is an everyday job.
Believing that God always has a better plan was never easy. It took a long time and journey for my self to reach this point. Sometimes, i still mad and disappointed of several things in life. But there's no grieving for today. Maybe that's the part growing up. I already wrote about this before, "Pendewasaan itu proses. Proses yang tidak perlu direncanakan, karena akan terjadi kalau sudah waktunya."
Hopefully everything will be okay, soon. Hopefully the problems only makes me stronger, wiser and of course better. And most of all, hopefully i can come out from this flat emotion. You know, when you feel nothing. Not happy, sorrow, surprised, angry, or anything. It's just flat, and it suck.
In need of a warm hug,
Clarissa Rizky
So how's your holiday?
Some of my friends are back to college days, while me and my university fellows are still in our days off. It's kinda fair enough 'cause we only have two kind of days : the-too-busy-to-do-anything or the too-much-time-to-do-nothing. These days been the second one. I personally grateful for every single day in January. It's the time that i can stay up late, watch every tv show that i like, read and write as much as i want with no worries.
Since this is my third holiday in college, i already imagine how it feels to have nothing to do in a month. I don't have a plan for holiday with family nor friends, only a short getaway with the big family to Lembang last December and a fine new year eve dinner with bestfriends. After that i only have stuffs like campus radio tasks and so on. Anyway, i'm sitting here in front of the screen with a flat emotion. I don't really know what i'm gonna share, but as usual it's more for my own sake.
My days were unpleasant lately. Mostly because of my period, the stomachache is killing me, and suddenly things feels like fell in the wrong place. I'm screwed with the academic thingy. My IRS problems haven't done till now, and i still got only 16 credits for the rest of the term because of the freakin internet connection. On the registration day, as the usual i sat here refreshing the page, hoping, praying that everything will flow smoothly. I need at least 20 credits for 4th term, and unfortunately it depends with the internet connection. Short story, it sucked. I can't access the website right at the time.
My body was limping. For a faculty like mine, the students have to rush and fight with each other to get a class. Yes, a freaking class. The requirement classes for everyone only have 14 credits, and as i told you i need at least 20 credits. So i need to choose alternative classes. The alternative classes are limited and if you're late, you'll never get the place. Thank God, there's always something to be grateful at the end of the day. I was helped by Ayas & Kenny for my IRS. They rushed to fill it for me. Honestly, i can't imagine how's my 4th term gonna be if i don't have them.
That day was a mess. Been alone for the day, and ended up on a fight with my dad. My future plan is threatened to fall apart, yet there's no tears from my eyes. Something new from my self. Back then, i used to cry in every single problem that i have. At the present, i feel like maybe that's the way it is. Maybe that was God's plan which working. I'm at the point of life that you really sure that everything, every-single-thing is happen for a reason. It's the point that you just know, maybe letting go is an everyday job.
Believing that God always has a better plan was never easy. It took a long time and journey for my self to reach this point. Sometimes, i still mad and disappointed of several things in life. But there's no grieving for today. Maybe that's the part growing up. I already wrote about this before, "Pendewasaan itu proses. Proses yang tidak perlu direncanakan, karena akan terjadi kalau sudah waktunya."
Hopefully everything will be okay, soon. Hopefully the problems only makes me stronger, wiser and of course better. And most of all, hopefully i can come out from this flat emotion. You know, when you feel nothing. Not happy, sorrow, surprised, angry, or anything. It's just flat, and it suck.
In need of a warm hug,
Clarissa Rizky
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